A few tips on How to stop bad mouthing or back biting and gossiping about people.
When something bad is spoken about a person without his/her knowledge, it is called bad mouthing or back biting. This initially starts as a single action and develops into a habit, a very evil one at that. One might finally find oneself in a situation in which he/she is unable to overcome this habit.
In case you already are bad mouthing or back biting, then there are certain things you can try to overcome it.
Back biting/bad mouthing might be a result of built up anger against a person. Hence, write down all the bad things in a piece of paper and later tear it into pieces or burn it if you like and let bygones be bygones. Once written in the paper, do not mention about whatever you have written to any person.
Observe if people around you, back bite or gossip about almost everyone you know. You don’t always have to add a comment to what they say. Just nod and a smile would help. It is better to avoid such a company so that you do not end up talking like they do.
Sometimes, you need to tell a good friend of yours that the person she is dealing with is not good. You need to warn her without ending up back biting /bad mouthing. Just prepare what you would tell her about the person in the most frank way. This would prevent you from blabbering more than what is needed.
Tell your best friend about your habit and ask her to keep a check on you. If you start bad mouthing to her, she can give you a subtle hint or warning which would remind you about your resolution to stop bad mouthing.
Any habit takes time to overcome. So you can keep a diary and enter information in it each day about your bad mouthing. This helps you to stay focused and eventually, the entries would reduce.
Acceptance – Not everyone is good in this world and the sooner we realize this fact, the better. When someone has a bad habit or evil way of speaking or anything negative, remember that they are brought up that way or they could have faced bad situations in life and hence the character. Either way, simply accept them the way they are and be careful around them. This will help take out any negative thoughts about the concerned person and thus all the bad mouthing will eventually reduce.
Use the triple filter test: Whenever you tend to bad mouth/back bite about anyone, you need to keep three factors in mind. Think over, if what you are telling is true. Analyze if it is information that you know or simply heard from elsewhere.
Secondly, observe if the knowledge you are imparting is good or bad. If it is bad, there is no point in telling it to anyone, so stop talking then and there. Lastly, Think over if the piece of information you are going to deliver is going to be useful or not.
More Reasons to Stop Bad Mouthing Other People
Once someone gets into the habit of bad mouthing others, it is time to look inward and find out why you bad mouth others. Maybe the person really is a bad person, maybe you feel the need to tell or warn others about this person.
But usually, if the person you are bad mouthing is really a bad person, there is a good chance that everyone else knows this person is a bad person. So there is no need for you to spout off your opinions.
Look inward, is your bad mouthing due to jealousy, are you jealous of this person for some reason and is this why you bad mouth someone?
Something very important to consider is this; your bad mouthing one person or numerous people could make you out to the bad guy, the bad employee, the toxic employee. Even if the person you are bad mouthing really is bad, you could very well end up looking just as bad or worse for bad mouthing others.
It is never good to be negative around friends or coworkers all of the time. Think before you speak, if angry, really think before you speak. It is always better to have a positive outlook around friends and coworkers, being positive always makes you look better.
As others see you as a positive person, and you should bad mouth someone, you will be taken more seriously. If you constantly bad mouth others, you will not be taken as seriously.
If you are always bad mouthing others, when the time comes to really have a reason to bad mouth someone, no one will believe what you are saying, others will just think you are just a negative person, and your complaints about someone else will just be taken with a grain of salt.