How To Attract People Into Your Life Like A Magnet
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How To Attract People Into Your Life Like A Magnet

The jury is in on the best way to attract a potential mate, win a popularity contest or ignite a new friendship: To attract people like a magnet simply paint yourself blue, paste $100 bills onto your eyebrows then take a walk with your pet tiger
  • People like money
  • People like sex with 78% listing a favorite position
  • Most people enjoy amusement park rides with the roller coater cited most often as the favorite
  • 41% of Americans prefer the color blue more than any other
  • 52% say ice cream is their favorite dessert
  • Mayonnaise is the top selling condiment with over $1.2 billion in sales yearly, dwarfing runner ups, salsa ($700 million) and ketchup ($500 million)
  • Two of the best selling electronic devices over the past twelve months are Apple's iPad and iPod
  • Biggest pet peeve of iPod users? iPods reaching "low battery" status
  • 57% of men and 35% of women say blue is their favorite color
  • A popular online dating site lists Charlotte as the most attractive name based on clicks, Kevin, Marvin and Dennis were the least
  • Americans favorite foods are pizza and chocolate with chocolate being picked as the most "sexual" food
  • American's favorite Christmas song consistently year-after-year is "White Christmas"
  • Body language experts claim repeated viewing of the eye and eye socket area during conversation indicates interest
  • In a recent What's your favorite animal? poll on Animal Planet, the tiger (21%) barely took the top spot over #2, the dog (20%)
  • Surveys consistently list broccoli as the #1 favorite vegetable
  • After "smiling" (often noted as "too cliché") the next most popular facial expression is "lusty face"
  • The best selling hats at are ball caps and beanies

 The verdict is clear: If you want to increase your number of friends, win a popularity contest or attract a mate simply paint yourself blue, paste $100 bills onto your eyebrows then take a walk with your tiger while flinging gobs of vanilla ice cream at the growing crowd. If your name is Kevin, Marvin or Dennis, you must first change your name to Charlotte. 

Once your potential mate is spotted, duct tape your "I love doggy" sign on your forehead, just above your "moneybrows", then land your new lover with your best Bing Crosby, "May all your Christmases be white," singing imitation. To seal the deal present your lusty face and offer them a chocolate based concoction topped with mayo and salsa.

If you're attempting to obtain a friend it's obvious you must don a beanie, increase your moneybrow amount to $500 each and carry a wagon filled with fully charged iPod batteries, handing them out liberally.

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Comments (1)

Blue paint....hmmm Something to think about.